I Am Unaware

I don’t wish to go into details on the complex relationships I have with family, but I guess in order to tell this, I’ll have to reveal a little more than I’m usually willing to talk about with even close friends, let alone publicly.

I’ve recently been noticing that some of my relations have a tremendously negative impact on my moods, and I got to thinking about that. It seemed like everyone in every other area of my life were happy with me, but a few folks had nothing much good to say to or about me. Again, I’m deliberately being vague, but the takeaway is this: The people who were having a negative impact or influence on me mean well, I’m sure. They are not aware of the impact they are having on me, and I’ll go ahead and admit, I’m kind of emotionally vulnerable and not all that used to pushing through being a little overly sensitive, maybe. But what it makes me wonder about mostly, is my own impact and influence on others. I am fortunate to know some really great people. I would hate to blithely going about life having any kind of negative impact or influence on their lives while I bounced around life from one bumper to the next. So, that’s something I think about. Trying to not be someone who brings negativity into others’ lives, without even realising I’m doing it. I know I’m working through a lot of weird life changes right now. I hope I deal with them in a way that doesn’t affect others in anything but a more positive way. I can’t give specific examples, but I know I could be doing a better job of it.

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