I Haven’t Created My Reality Yet

I read an article recently about dealing with a relative with Alzheimer’s. It got me thinking, about how our minds work. The part that made me think had to do with how sometimes some parts of the brain are not acting the way they should be:

the part of your brain that tells you where your home is is in between your frontal lobe and your parietal lobe – different parts of it. So when that’s broken, what good is it trying to reason with me – I can’t reason because my frontal lobe is broken and my parietal lobe is my GPS, if you will, telling me where everything is. Those are both mixed up. My amygdala, which is my emotional part of my brain, is working. And so you’re trying to use these, which are totally broken and this part that’s working – you’re irritating it and you’re frustrating me and you’re arguing with me.

Now, they are talking about something different, the physical parts of the brain that aren’t working, but what it made me think of was, well, those times I’ve either tried counseling, or just working things out for myself, and always feeling sort of that same way. You know, how they say don’t tell someone who has been through trauma to get over it, or whatever. I felt the story about how the father woke up one night, and wanted to go see his parents, who were dead was emotional. And the reasoning, you know, that he had a sense of anxiety, and he wanted the comfort of his parents is what was driving his seeming irrational demand. That’s something to think about. I know that sometimes I experience anxiety that I don’t understand the source of, but it can be a little unsettling. I usually blame it on diet, but there is also a lot of uncertainty in my life, and thinking about that, worrying about it, probably does contribute. What I haven’t figured out yet, is how to create a reality where I’m not always worrying so much about the future, not so often regretting the past, stuff like that.

But that’s not the only thing. They also mention in that article how the therapy coach “invented the job”, which is something I think about all of the time, as I am trying to figure out how to grow up and have an adult life of my own. The job I have now is kind of an invented position, but not exactly what I’m talking about. I am always looking at successful people, and trying to figure out how they got there, and hoping to apply the lessons to my own life in the hopes of becoming successful, myself. So, I’m trying to invent my reality, in that sense.

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