The Stigma

I occasionally have written about things like trauma and rape, and the like. So, since I’m dying to get a bunch of stuff of my chest, lately, here’s this post.

I didn’t understand what people meant about the “stigma of rape” before. Maybe because I’m a guy, but, it suddenly came to me, when people were commenting on something I wrote, and mentioned PTSD. Now, I’ve read enough stuff online to know some people are sensitive to who gets to be called that, and who should just get over themselves. So, that was the first thing that came to mind. Sure, there was a traumatic event, but that doesn’t earn you the badge, in some people’s eyes. Okay, whatever, I don’t have time to deal with that right now. That’s not what my epiphany was about.

A while back, a friend had posted an article that in gist, was, once the author’s partner had really opened up to her emotionally, their relationship never was the same. She was no longer able to view him the same, and it seemed like she’d lost all respect for him as a man, as her partner. I’m not sure why the article resonated with me, but it did. I guess, because I felt like, once I opened up, (sought professional counseling), that it left me emotionally in a worse off state than I was before I sought it out in the first place.

The epiphany, for me, was that it seems like what people seek in a mate is financial and emotional security. And trying to deal with long-buried emotions, or whatever, well, that’s just not something that’s written into the fairy tales. I don’t know squat about adult relationships. But that seems to be something that is going to be a turn off, right there. This person has issues. So, that’s how I’ve come to understand the “stigma of rape” for the time being. Things change, maybe I’ll have a better understanding some day.



Someone once described them self as a narcissist to me. So, I guess when a too short and unsatisfying article from huffpo came across my timeline, it piqued my interest. In economics, I think I associate this with “rational self-interest calculator”.

p.s. after reading the article all the way through, I don’t really feel satiated, but, well, it is what it is, as the saying goes. The original huffpo article’s expert said something about setting boundaries, or “deal-breakers”, as he put it.